I'll make it up to you
by MilkshakeKimxx
Summary: Have you ever felt perfectly normal one moment then the smallest thing happens and you go mad? Carlisle has reached the end of his rope, will the family be able to make it up to him individually? Or will they just disregard him like normal?Vampires still.
1. The fireworks explode

**A/N:**

So, hi. I'm back. This story was a bit random but it featured our favourite family and what happens once Carlisle's reached the end of his teather.

I beg of you to please, please, please, please review.

Next chapers coming up A.S.A.P

Much love and respect

your beloved author

**MilkshakeKimxx/Kim xxxx**

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><p><strong>Edwards point of view.<strong>

The expression 'never throw rocks in glass houses' had ever been so accurate. The only difference at the moment was the fact that Emmett was launching Jasper across the garden. It being a beautiful day and all, Carlisle took the morning off work; he swapped a shift so he would instead be leaving at eight in the evening. Both Carlisle and Esme suggested the whole family spend the day in our luxurious garden, with the forest trees being our boundary line. A very rare moment was of course the whole family relaxing together in the garden. Esme began pulling up weeds with Nessie helping her both wearing flowery dresses but of different types, Carlisle was reading a book while wearing sunglasses which covered most of his face. Bella was mucking around with Emmett and Jasper, who were supposed to be playing football but as said before were launching each other across the garden, as for Alice and Rosalie; well they were talking about some kind of design for new shoes.

Well glass houses, Esme had gone inside to fetch something with the beautiful little girl which was my daughter, Emmett had argued with Jasper that he scored a touchdown, which he didn't, and they had got into an argument and before anyone could interfere he threw Jasper across the yard and with a smash, he landed through the glass house, thousands of tiny crystals flying through the air. Many lie across the lawn, some landed onto Carlisle and his book and a few landed on my open palms. The sound echoed through my ears as the snap of Carlisle's medical journal slapped to a close, and then the roar echoed. Never before had I seen such a patient, compassionate father become _this_ mental. The words were echoed separately to emphasis anger and the next sentence which fell from his mouth was such a shock for everyone that silence echoed the area.

".FU-"

Esme had cleverly covered Nessie's four year old ears to stop her from hearing Carlisle's angered cussing. Once he had finished; Emmett, who had Jasper in a backwards headlock so that his body was just about balanced on his shoulders, dropped what he held in his arms. Jasper fell on to the glass, never once ignoring Carlisle's twitching glare, and rose ever so slowly. Rosalie's eyes darted to the boys and Alice leant on her left leg with an expression of humoured smugness beholding her face.

"Carlisle, my love, it's only a glass house. We'll get another one." His wife smiled warmly and tapped Nessie's shoulder so she was encouraged to go inside. She carefully watched her grandfather's eyes but did as she was told.

"Oh no, Esme, I'm fed up to the back teeth of this family disregarding everything. Emmett, Jasper. You two break _everything_. Absolutely everything, but as long as no-one is around to get hurt because of it then its respected and even highly comical. Alice, are you kidding me. Nessie is not a Barbie doll, stop it. Neither is Bella, or Esme or Emmett or me! You do not need to buy a new range of lingerie just to have in the cupboard. We do not need a thousand different types of toothbrushes; we don't even need that many clothes, it's ridiculous! Rosalie- you are ungrateful, rude, selfish and unbelievably immature. Yes, you have a hard life, so does every person in this damn world, get over it. Jacob is part of this family, stop flushing the little amounts of human food-in which we buy for not only his welfare but others as well- down the toilet, stop burning his clothes, or disregarding his family or pack, it's not fair to Nessie, and personally, although beautiful you are, I do not see you as the most gorgeous woman in the world, there I said it!" He took a breath and looked towards Bella who was trying very hard to surreptitiously walk towards me.

"Oh, don't think you two are getting out of it. Bella-" I growled. "Stop teasing the boys, stop teasing your parents, stop teasing Jacob. Oh how about you look after Nessie so Edward and I can have the most enormous amount of raucous sex. Oh wait, I don't like that idea, because I want such a young child with abnormally perfect hearing to hear everything her father and I like to get up to, that sound good, Jacob? Oh, let's not forget your parents. Hey mum, missing you loads. I'm nearly crying thinking about it, wait? You want to come and see me? No. No. No. You can't I'm so busy. Alice is very talented you know, over time she could probably make you look older then you are. Finally Edward, Edward; the one male who I trust more than any other guy in my life, out of the loving and caring of our hearts my wife and I lend you are loving island of which for you to look after and you leave it a state, scare the cleaners, and don't even bother to tell us of its damage. You've spent all your prior-Bella-state feeling sorry for yourself and no matter what this family have done for you you've disregarded everyone. You feel more obliged to suck up to Charlie, dump your child on anyone other than yourself and forever complain about your daughter's future husband. Like it or not, that's what's going to happen!"

I felt my mouth fall agape, Esme was about to say something but Carlisle stopped her.

"I know you feel it undeniably important to stick up for them, my darling. But I've had enough, I've said my piece and if you need me, I'll be in my study, fixing the broken books-thank you Rosalie and Emmett-, fixing the computers-Alice, Jasper-, clearing up my granddaughters toys and clothes of which she's been brought up to change every two minutes-Edward, Bella- and finally picking all the shard of glass out of the corners of that room seeing as my window is big, open and several amounts of broken glass flew into there."

With that, he stood up, threw his sunglasses to the ground and walked into the house. Spontaneously picking up Renesmee, kissing her on the forehead and carrying her to his study while in fluent Italian conversation to her about the uniqueness of Romeo and Juliet.

It was completely silent, Esme (smiling wearily at everyone) was about to speak again, but was this time interrupted by Emmett.

"Wow. He's really pissed off this time, In't he."

"You mean 'Isn't he'." I corrected.

"Emmett, don't be stupid!"

"Shut it, Emmett."

"It's always you who has to make the smart arse comment."

Esme looked at all of us and begged with her eyes for all of us to shut-up. The sun had hid behind a cloud, as if it too was scared by Carlisle's change in attitude and so looked for something to hide behind. The garden had lost its radiance; the only light shining was the reflection of the glass edges.

A smooth low voice emanated from Esme and once she had said her piece, she too left.

"I believe you have all angered him to the point of insanity and although you have obviously not angered him purposely, your continuance of disrespect for him has finally led to his release. He doesn't mean all that he said, I can reassure you all of that much, but had the lot of you even been willing to consider him in a caring view- Nessie not included because she is an observant child and so understands what is of need to her grandfathers sanity and what is returned- he certainly would not of needed to exasperate his annoyance in peoples selfishness."

She smiled and kissed Emmett on the cheek as she too walked away, sighing in worry towards her husband.

Rosalie clucked her tongue. "Well, it's always the misbehaving ones who get forgiven so easily."

Emmett dropped all childish manner.

"Actually, baby, she's shown her affection by kissing me on the cheek to show that she still loves us all, the reason it was me was not because of popularity but because I was the closest to where she was standing and the other night, I was the only one of this family who contacted him at the hospital to tell him that after work we were going to have a proper bonding of which we have not yet experienced, I asked Esme how to approach him into asking him and so she obviously wanted me to know of her gratefulness in doing so."

Rosalie was stunned. I was stunned. Everyone present was stunned. He grinned childishly straightened his t-shirt and rubbed Rosalie's shoulder.

"Doodles-conoodles. What are we gonna do to cheer him up."

Bella laughed. "Doodle-what?" Alice was bent forward laughing so much. "Are you kidding me? Doodles-conoodles?"

"It's my version of 'Anyway'. 'Anyway' is too boring and simple for me so doodles-conoodles.!

They all continued to laugh, then Rosalie and Jasper joined in, looking more related the more in sync their laughter was.

"Do none of you realise the fact that he's going to ignore this whole scene and treat us incredibly importantly from now on. He's going to be lovely and apologize for everything. Show affection; allow us to do whatever we want whenever we want!" I stated. I slowly bent down picking up some glass and putting it in my pocket. Carlisle was more than a friend. He was my best friend, my father, the one person who had always shown hope when I believed there was none to show. The guilt would eat me up over the next few days if we didn't sort it out, we need some to do some serious thinking.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Rosalie flicked her hair towards the sun.

_I shouldn't have done that! Why did I do that to my own family, I yelled and swore at them, how could I do that? I promised myself I wouldn't EVER do that. How can they ever forgive me, how will they-._

Carlisle's thoughts were interrupted by what I had evidence to believe was Renesmee. She relayed a memory of when we went to England for his birthday. She was sitting on his lap and his was sitting on a large meadow and hills. Nothing to suggest humans lived in England was here, just a large meadow and the family, having fun in the middle of the night. Esme was lying right next to him, laughing at the pride evolving his features into that of a smug father, she had her hair into a lazy bun, her dress and cardigan relating in colours but suiting her heart shaped face in a way which forced Carlisle's eyes to never leave her. The rest of us, Jake included were playing some kind of Olympic obstacle course. We were all laughing. Bella had looked strangely sporty. She had a hungry competitive expression on her face, a basket ball in her hands; she chucked it towards Emmett who was dressed in a bear costume. The consequence in having too much self confidence and challenging Jasper and myself, to wrestling match. We were all happy. Incredibly happy and Carlisle, looked content.

"Well I don't know why he's taking this out on me. I've done nothing ." Rosalie glared towards the open window, she had deliberately said this icily believing he would hear and feel awful. I felt the shame wanting to rip off her head but Alice interjected.

"Exactly, Rose. You've done nothing. You've treated him like nothing!" It was as if Alice had rose four hundred feet in the air. Her black hair shined and made a pact with her feeling of disgust. Rosalie looked to the floor.

Jasper had said nothing until now.

"Well, it's obvious we can do nothing to be forgiven together, so we will all have to show our deepest sorrows by doing so individually." His Texan drawl had made Bella smile slightly but she nodded in agreement.

He put his left hand in his pocket, his eyes quickly diverting to judge the state of the glass house. It was bad to his view. It was more than bad, it was shameful. He tugged Alice's hand and gestured that they should leave the circle of fiery angst. They did so.

It was amusing watching them cross the grass to enter the house. Jasper made such silent steps yet they left footsteps in the grass but Alice sprang from each blade of grass, and it made a minute slicing sound as she did so. Bella imitated Jasper in trying to drag me away but I shook my head and kept my eyes locked on Rosalie's. Emmett caught my thought of motion or for once read my body language.

"Come on hells-Bells, I lost our bet, so take me to the meatball milkshake." Bella laughed and ran towards the house, Emmett following on her heels.

It was the two of us. Just Rosalie and me, facing each other in pure anger, I was ready to growl at her, she continued to surround her thoughts on blaming Carlisle and how it was his own fault about the current situation.

The house looked beautiful; it stood tall, proud and benevolent. It's radiance of white making the day seem brighter, and consequently making the reflection of the glass block my coherent view. His window was open. He was murmuring very low to Esme about how harsh he was. She was refusing to accept it and he was refusing to believe her.

I placed my hands Rosalie's shoulders and carefully directed her so she was in position toward the window of the study. She kept making slight protest but I ignored them. I was standing behind her, visibly taller and the contrast of our hair colours standing out in a peculiar design. Her green top had shoulder pads in them and they disturbed my hands, they felt rough and weird.

"Edward what-"

"Rosalie, do me a favour and just shut it. Don't say anything. Just listen to his words." I had whispered the last sentence almost inaudibly in hope Carlisle didn't hear.

Her frame relaxed and she listened.

His words ran smooth, but cut deeply. "They're my children, Esme. Our children, maybe not really, but that's what they are to me and it was beyond sick to say such a thing. I mean Bella and Edward, they're not as bad as we were when we were-" Esme coughed, "-Are, (sometimes), yet I treated them as if it was a disease." This made me smile awkwardly, he now felt the embarrassment I felt several years ago but it treated it a lot better than I did. "It was wrong to say that about Bella's parents. We don't know how hard it is because we were all from broken families. It was cruel, beyond torture."

"You have to be cruel to be-"

"Maybe, my dear. But I was sick. Pure dementedly evil. She and Edward spend every day looking after Nessie, and she's grown up to be wonderful and polite that must have taken all their effort-. Oh my, Alice. She did nothing wrong-nothing yet I repeatedly made such a bad thing of her thorough set in this human facade. The clothes she buys, they are lovely, gorgeous and she's so talented in spotting them then matching them with our features and likes. Even Em, I mean, he even took the liberty in getting all embarrassed by calling up the hospital and going through several phoning procedures just to ask me if I wanted to spend some time with him one on one. I mean, Emmett did that. Emmett, the same Emmett who threatened to flush his own brothers head down the bathroom just because he assumed that Jasper forgot mother's day."

Rosalie attempted to shrug out of my hands, but I stayed firm.

"Listen."

She sighed, she didn't want to listen, she felt guilty and just wanted to leave but like Esme said you have to be cruel to be kind.

"Poor Rosalie-"Carlisle began. He hadn't heard us so he carried on beating himself up.

"Edward-don't, let me go. I don't want to listen. Edward, let me go." She wasn't demanding, not even asking, just begging, pleading in fact. I felt horrible but ignored her, just kept my hands on her shoulders. Although the longer I stayed, the more I hated the shoulder pads.

"She's gorgeous, Esme. I mean you're my wife so I'm attracted to you but she got a beauty which makes everyone feel jealous of her. She's not selfish or rude-well sometimes but -she's just sensitive and what I have done? Kicked her when she's down, that's what I've done. How will I ever make it up to her? What about Jasper-"

"Carlisle Cullen, you listen and you listen now, you promise me you do nothing, just treat them how you would normally. Promise me you won't attempt any begging of forgiveness, you don't even mention it, you just treat them like you did before this morning's incident. You understand me!"

"Esme- my dear, surely-"

She growled low and hearty. "Fine, I promise. I love you Mrs Cullen." She growled again, which was my warning to stop ear wigging and let her show her affection to Carlisle in peace.

Rosalie glanced at me. "Yeah, I know Edward. I know. I'll sort it out. Trust me."

The strangest thing, I did trust her. I just hoped Carlisle trusted Esme enough to listen to her. We would have to pick up the pieces this time but re-form them individually. Like we should be doing already.


	2. Emmett

**A/N:**

**Hey readers, sorry for all the mistakes made in the previous chapter, theres a chance that this chapter will contain mistakes of which I apologize for. **

It's the thought that counts, right?

I just want to know your view so please review.

Happy reading,

MilkshakeKimxx/ Kim

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><p><strong>Carlisle's point of view.<strong>

It had been a few days since the incident involving my outrage. Obviously I felt ashamed but I had made a promise to Esme to forget about my screaming match with myself, and a promise to Esme is something I will not break. I was sat in the living room, spread eagled out on the sofa with Peter Pan sat on my lap. Not Peter Pan literally. The story book of course. I had found it stuffed on one of the library shelves and found a peculiar interest towards it. Renesmee loved it too and so we read it to her frequently. Anyway, I was sat on our cornered cream sofa reading the words delicately to Esme. It would have made a lot more sense if instead Renesmee was tucked under my arm, but she was with her parents and for once I had the chance to spend some quality time with my wife.

She sighed under my words and put her warm hand on my chest. Well her hands were warm to me. We had spent the day clearing the living room and redecorating it. The sofa was pressed against the open windows so that the sweet smell of Fork's spring wafted through and scented the room. The television had been broken during the night and so was in the dump two miles up the road. No one had yet owned up to it, but I refused to get involved. What you don't know can't hurt, right?

So, I happen to be sitting on the sofa, reading a children's story book, with the stereo whispering slow melodies inaudibly in the background when BOOM! We get disturbed.

"Hey, Daddy-O! Fancy going hunting for the weekend? I'll take that as a yeah, I'll be in the car."

Emmett clapped me on the back so hard that I whimpered. What was he going on about? Esme sat up and straightened her clothes. Refusing to look me, she kept her eyes on my jumper and began picking off bits of fluff which angered her. I stopped him with my answer.

"Emmett, we went hunting last week. You know that 'bonding thing'. Anyway, I do apologize, son, but I can't I've got work."

Now I felt bad, the one month Em tries real hard to act as a family, I'm busy. He paused at the door, smiling mischievously.

"N'aww. Silly me, I forgot to mention you got the weekend off. I'm incredibly persuasive you know."

He flashed a big grin at me, showing of his teeth and suggesting that there was no way out.

"Which means what, Em?"

I look towards him cautiously. His shirt was ruffled, the bottoms of his jeans were torn and his trainers were so scuffed and worn out, they looked around sixty years old, although, it wouldn't surprise me if they were sixty years of age.

"This means; get in the car we're off on another bonding weekend."

I felt really awkward now.

"Look, Em, you don't-"

He interrupted me put holding up his gigantic paw. "Either you get in the car or I drag you to the car." He pointed with his thumb towards the garage.

My mouth dropped open, my eyes widened, Esme giggled and moved from where she was sitting as if to watch the whole scene rather than her blocked view from the position she had sat in.

"YOU. WOULDN'T. D-"

He did dare, he took one step from the door and I found him within reach of me. He grinned and slung me over his shoulder in a swift movement so I fell in a painful bundle over his shoulder. The embarrassment would have eaten me up if it was possible. I mean, if I was human, I would be blue with embarrassment, never mind red. My grown son had me over his shoulder as if I was four years old and just to add to the situation, my belt was lose and so half of my arse was in full display in Esme's face. Something of which she couldn't have been best pleased about, I was sure.

"I do dare. Doodles-conoodles, come on Carlizzle, it'll be great fun. Just you and me and some running shoes. And obviously clothes, you want them. Don't want to be looking like a pair of nudists running through the woods, do ya? Talking 'bout nudists, your arse is hanging out."

I groaned.

"Em. Just put me down. I promise I'll come with you, I'll just go get a couple of supplies..."

I could hear even my own voice trailing off. Then SLAM! He literally threw me to the floor but looked at me like he'd carefully helped me down to the point of over friendly gentleness; this was all in addition to looking at me disapprovingly as if I was the child and him the guardian. He raised his left eyebrow, jerked his thumb towards the garage again and threw his head back. That was an order to get in the car.

I sighed and dragged my feet over to where Esme stood, placing my hand on either side of her face and mentally telling Edward to save my life.

"Okay, I'll see you soon, my love. Don't let them take over the place. You're obviously in charge. I love you."

She didn't answer me, only smirked as she watched me leave the house as slowly as possible. Her beauty laughing maliciously all the while as it sent me to my death.

"See ya later, Ma." Emmett thought nothing of it, just rushed me out the house and followed.

He'd obviously planned this. To ruin my perfect weekend, well of course he didn't. I was just being bitter but this meant another awkward weekend on the way.

We drove from our home to Washington, and then ran from Washington all the way to Alaska. For moments only I believed we were to visit Eliza and Carmen but nope, instead he directed me to the middle of the woods, destroyed several trees and suggested we camp out here.

He'd raced me to Alaska and because I was overly keen to return home, I beat him. He didn't like this very much and so challenged me to a wrestling match, of which I would have been a fool to accept.

"Just proves you're a wimp then, don't it?"

I chuckled. It was late afternoon; the sun was tiring out and so slowly drifting downwards, making the forest darken ominously. Emmett had very cleverly sculpted seats for the both of us to seat on (I say sculpted more like beaten) but the splinters had made it uncomfortable. Even for me.

"A coward I am proud to be if thats what becomes of refusing a wrestling match with you; Emmett Cullen."

He laughed coyly and clapped me on the back.

"Well, if that's why Esme's attracted to you..."He trailed off leaving the line wide open.

I sensed his little mind game so out of stupidity retorted to it immediately.

"Would do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes in curiosity.

He grinned and leant against a tree.

"If Esme likes geeky-wimpy-weak little boys." He shrugged.

I scoffed, standing up from the stump.

"I'll think you'll find, _son_, I have centuries over you and weak? You try being surrounded by billions of pints of blood day in day out and greet the flames in your throat like an old friend. Geeky? I think not. Wimpy? No, just not stupid."

He bent over, laughing immensely.

"Geek. I meant manly as in I can beat everyone who stands in my way."

My teeth grazed my lip. Ice verses Ice, it was fun this brawl with Emmett. The only problem when its ice against ice, neither is beaten by its opponent, instead they melt because of reality and so both lose out. Therefore logic wins rather then strength verses belief. I rolled up my sleeves and continued walking ahead of me, Emmett too copied this action and soon we found we were circling each other.

"However if a newborn was to walk through those trees you wouldn't stand a chance, would you? Bella proved that." I nodded in the direction of the trees and as I did so my blonde hair fell in my eyes so I blew it out of them.

He took an intake of breath. This was still a game, we were both grinning just going deeper. Oh face it Carlisle, you're going to fight him and regret it later.

"Alright gramps, you're the eldest, you may not be weak to your thoughts - physically you are, though- but you think I should break my newborn sister's arm within moments of her awakening, I think not. Whose being harsh now? No, you're right; I can see that Esme doesn't like the tough-buff men. Just the ones with they're blabber hanging out."

My hands flew to my stomach and I found myself self-consciously stretching my shirt over my stomach. There wasn't any blubber, cheeky git. Or I hope there wasn't anyway.

"Okay, this means war, _boy_."

We both lunged at each other, snarling, growling but contradicting these fight tactics by also laughing. He was bigger, but I was quicker. I had learnt a few tricks from Jasper, Alice and Edward. I dodged but only barely, every time he nearly had me.

He threw me to the floor and was about to squish me when I rolled out of his view so he fell to the floor instead.

But that was the problem, I had moved...and he didn't just fall to the floor...he fell through the floor. The hole was shaped to suit his body and was easily a few feet deep. The mud and grass which had lived there only seconds before the accident, was now spread across the ground.

"Crap! Em, are you okay?" I yelled downwards toward the bottom of the hole. Every time I even let myself go a little bit, someone always gets hurt. What's the point in having a thousand percent self control, when I can't even have one day off?

I could hear him rapidly climbing upwards, it hadn't even been seconds when he jumped and threw me backward.

**_THWACK!_** Right into a tree, this fell into another tree, which fell into another tree. It was like a domino track.

"Shit!"

"Emmett, language...But yes, it is rather bad."

The roar echoed as another tree fell into the other; the haze of blue sky had been covered by the blur of the brown and green trees falling onto one another. A weak, wood smell contacted my nose and warned me of the forever falling domino track of trees.

Every time one fell, the floor shook and I would cower and squeeze my eyes shut.

_CRASH!_

Black out...okay safe.

_CRASH!_

Black out...okay safe.

_CRASH!_

"Tiiiiiimberrr!" he sung. He had his hands cupped around his mouth as if to shout over the noise.

"Emmet? Seriously? We've just destroyed a forest and what are you doing; making jokes." I had to hide the smile.

_CRASH!_

"What do you want me to do?" He shrugged showing lying innocence.

_CRASH!_

"Try catching a tree before it falls, that way it'll stop the rest of them falling-"

**_CRASH!_**

A huge one had just fallen and my feet had literally left the ground momentarily.

There was silence, leaves shifted around my feet, the damage was worse than I could imagine.

"We should run-"

For once I agreed with him.

**Emmett's point of view.**

So, it's Monday, we returned home, to the garden more specifically. That was joke; I'm sat in the kitchen. Carlisle's no longer in such a bad mood which is strange because half his face is green...I did nothing!

Well, I did nothing bad...nothing too bad.

We returned to our wrestling match once we found another spot in the forest. I'd not seen him, or him- me and I'd turned round to quickly and whacked him in the face. When a bruise forms blood rushes to the skin- if your human- and because I have an almighty amount of strength I made the venom rush to his face, and although we are incredibly pale, the blood he had drank reacted with something in the venom, turning a fistful of his face green. Or that's what he told me.

He has to wear make up to go to work, that's the hilarious bit.

So, doodles-conoodles. I'm sat in the kitchen when Carlisle calls me, amusement living in his call.

"Em, come here, have a look at this."

That's when I walk in to the living and I'm met by the news reporter in a familiar forest on our _new_ T.V screen.

_"Over an eighth of the forest has been destroyed, included the biggest beloved Willow Tree which has been in this forest for centuries. We are only left to wonder what person would destroy such a beautiful forest and then not admit to it after." _

I look towards Carlisle, he looks back at me and laughter feels the room.

The whole room is surrounded in laughter. That's when Esme walks in and asks what we are laughing so obnoxiously at. If tears could fill our eyes, we would have drowned.

"N'aww, Em, come here."

So he reaches over smiles and claps me on the back then rubs my shoulder to prove he appreciated the weekend.

Let's face it, I'm totally, one-hundred percent-ly forgiven.


	3. Alice

**A/N**

**Thanks people for sticking with me, the damn site wasn't working last night :( however, I am now up and running.**

**I hope you all enjoy because I was even laughing through this chapter. **

**THANKS!**

**MilkshakeKimxx/ Kimberley xxxxx :D Happy reading x  
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><p><strong>Alice's Point of view.<strong>

Emmett and Carlisle are best of friends now, so it's my turn next! The beauty of Carlisle and Esme's relationship was more important to Carlisle then not destroying human lives. Therefore I have the best plan ever, to base my act-to-forgiveness on sucking up to that special relationship without even sucking up to it.

I didn't tell Jasper of my fabulous plan in case he stole it. That sounds harsh, but still, he can think of his own plan.

A map of the mall was spread out on the floor and by the side of my map laid a Barbie doll and beside her a small bear dressed in a surgeon's kit. I had vamped Barbie up a bit by cutting her hair short, dying it black and inking small fangs on her mouth so she was a miniature version of me but Emmett the smart arse twit had cut the majority of her legs off to make her really short-I think that was aimed at me- but that's okay because I broke the T.V so he had to go out and buy another one. That's the beauty of looking ahead in life-or death.

The map was only a drawing I did with the only resources being Nessie's crayons so my map looked tacky and child like.

Barbie and the bear obviously represented Carlisle and I. The size proportion (especially when in proportion to the map) of the bear messed things up a bit but hey ho, it was only a plan.

"Hmm, so you Barbie are to lure around the mall and perhaps suit and boot him onto a date with Mrs. Cuddlington then you will be completely forgiven. But we may have to include some extras..."

I dragged Nessie's toy camera out from behind me and placed it onto the map. It was one which when you fill it up with water, it squirts you. Cool, eh?

"What's that Barbie? Professional photo shoots for Dr. and Mrs C. You know what Barbie; you're not a bimbo at all, that's a great idea!"

I made the doll point to the wardrobe it had been advertised with.

"'Oh how about something sweet for me too look cute in?' Great idea Barbie, Ann Summers it is, then."

I smiled towards the doll; wow this was going to be a doddle.

From downstairs Renesmee was crying; I could hear Edward trying to calm her down.

"Don't worry my darling, we'll find your toys."

HOLY CRAP! They're heading up the stairs too! Just act like you don't know a thing, Alice!

So I shoved all the toys into the walk in wardrobe, shut the door and repeated the alphabet in Japanese; backwards. This was a ploy so I wouldn't reveal to Edward that I stole-I mean borrowed the toys.

Within minutes Edward arrived at my door holding a sobbing Nessie. Oh my God- he looks disgusting! Is he wearing sweats? What's the point in wearing sweats when you don't sweat! EWWWW, he looks disgusting, my eyes are burning with the ugliness of his clothes! He glared at me with bronze eyes, he needs a hair cut! It's falling in his eyes.

In fact, in this particular moment I realised how much Edward and Carlisle looked alike, their eyes the same shape, their mouth curving in the same strange way, their hair forever falling in their eyes.

"Thank you for your opinion Alice, but have you seen..?"

Crap, what do I say?

"HA, you slipped, I knew it was you! Only you would take them!" He laughed and pointed in my face. I had a mind to moan to Carlisle but that probably wouldn't help the awkward situation between him and I. Damn, stupid mind reader!

His eyes narrowed; "Stupid fortune teller!"

At this point Nessie began to howl. "I want Barbie and Dr. Cuddlington!"

Edward, eyes still on me- my own face a blank expression, walked calmly towards my wardrobe. Nessie had stopped crying and looked so much prettier-Edward growled- I could still smell the salt of her tears though, and ewwww! Her nose is dribbling. Aww, gross I'm going to throw up! Look at all that green snot! I'm literally heaving!

That's when they saw it.

"_ALICE, SERIOUSLY?"_ He roared. Oops, I'm in some shizz.

"What happened to Barbie?" Nessie began to wail to the point where it was hurting my ears.

"I know it looks bad, Nessie, but..." I tried to cover up

She was creating a flood in my bedroom, howling nonstop, crying, demanding the ceiling to tell her why such a thing happened to her Barbie.

In a defeated mannerism, she went to hit me but just let her hand fall to my knee. Her eyes, filled with water, looking sore and red. Bella was going to kill me!

That's when I saw it. The fun hours Nessie had spent, looking after Barbie, brushing her hair, changing her clothes, helping her on her first date with Ken... What sort of person am I? I'm a monster! Why? Why did I do this to her? AND BARBIE?

I wiped away the nonexistent tears and hugged her.

"I'm really sorry, Ness. I'll never do it again, I swear. I know I shouldn't have cut her hair (by the way it was Emmett who cut her legs) and I won't colour in her hair with felt tip. Oh, just to tell you, your black pen has run out."

"Really? Aunty Allie how could you?" Her hic-cough made spit go on my black skirt. I couldn't look at it when I wiped it off and onto my floor, if I did then it would be certain that I would've heaved.

"That explains the horrible hair do, though. I thought for a moment she was supposed to be a Cruella Deville look alike." Edward laughed and caught a glance of Nessie's pouting face. He composed his amused grin to look like a very angry daddy.

"Seriously, Alice? Emmett I understand because he's a dumb-ass, but you?"

"Stop saying that, will ya!" I yelled defensively.

"How about I stop saying seriously when _you_; STOP STEALING MY DAUGHTERS TOYS!"

I cowered.

The rain's beat upon the window had quickened as it to catch up with the flaring spit of our retorts. Renesmee wiped her nose on her sleeve and covered her ears; clever child, though not so clever she's just touched my floor. She's put snot on my floor! I'm going to have to clean that later! What a cheeky-Oh Edwards scowling.

"I couldn't help it! And it wasn't like I broke any of them-. Oh yeah...right. Sorry." You walked right into that one, Alice.

Luckily someone saved my life. Or death. He called up the stairs so gently that I felt an enormous amount of relief.

"Alice, are we going to the mall or not? I've been waiting ages, kid, c'mon."

Poking my tongue out at Edward only, I hushed them out of my room and followed after.

"Coming, Carlisle. Well, I'll see you bug eyed freak later, and you little princess, soon. I'll get ya something at the mall, k?"

Nessie smiled and hugged me round the neck. "Thanks Aunty Allie."

"Love ya kiddo. Meh, but not you, lion-breath!"

Edward rolled his eyes and walked with Renesmee towards Carlisle's study, probably going to read Peter Pan again. Ness made him hold onto Dr. Cuddlington's paw during their short walk and for those seconds, I felt pride.

So I finally reach the bottom step and Carlisle is smiling impatiently, he rolls his eyes once he see's my awesome over complicated outfit of a thousand bangles and chains, anything which makes a cool jingling sound really and then he hushes me out the house. It was relatively awkward in my car.

Being a vamp and all you expect he would like my driving but no, he's a hypocrite, he says I'm going too fast and states this by gripping on to anything close with one hand and gripping the seat belt for dear life- or death- with the other.

What a git, he speeds all the God-damn-time then has the cheek to look sheepish at MY driving (well, not when we're in the car but still).

That's when we reach the beautiful mall, it's still raining so I leg it into the mall, as slowly as possible because that's the way humans run! Carlisle just holds it all in, and walks towards the mall entrance slower than any human with broken legs- or in fact no legs would walk, he looks mentally crazy. His blonde hair is soaked and drips down his neck, yet he welcomes it freely. His eyes are wide open whereas I'm squinting to stop the water falling in them and his grin is so massive it kind of looks like I shouldn't go anywhere near him.

Eventually he reaches me and so I tell him to close his eyes and drag his arse into Ann Summers. Not literally drag his arse, more like, lead him via hand. This shop is the queen of all lingerie shops and so to win Esme's heart I'll get him to choose something for her. Admittedly, when he opens his eyes, he's going to hate me.

"Okay...open!"

He's grinning, I've just found out from the expression on his face, he loves surprises. Damn, should have done a party instead! Oh well.

He removes his cupped hand away from his eyes, his grin drops. He's so embarrassed that he can't even speak. Just stands there looking horrified at me for a full five minutes.

"Tahh-dahhh." I whisper afraid of what he might do. He looks like he's going to melt out of sheer embarrassment or even stab himself in the brain just to hide from it all. Then when some slutty girl with too much make up, massive spots, and looks like a stick insect bounces-literally jumps in front of me, face to face with Carlisle who's still stuttering and lip quivering- into our view. She looks around twenty three maybe and smells like too much perfume.

"Hello..." She giggles towards him and smiles cheekily.

"My name's Jennie. You look like you've seen a ghost!"

THAT'S JUST OUR SKIN, YOU RACIST BITCH! WE'RE VAMPIRES!

Carlisle finally returns to earth.

"No...N...No. I'm fine...Thanks." He smiles lightly then looks towards the mass of underwear. He looks like he's about to groan, not out of pleasure, out of fear.

She rubs his shoulder which only makes him look nauseated.

"Well, if there's _anything_ I can help you with, just call me; Jennie" She whispers seductively then winks. The next thing which happened was so amusing that I quite literally was shaking with excitement to tell the others once we got home.

"Oh, God. Excuse me."

He ran out the shop, hand over mouth and right into the men's bathroom. Of course he had to sort of run without running which added to the amusement.

I mean, even from outside the men's I can hear him throwing up. A middle aged man walked out of the men's with an expression of pure worry. He looked at me. "Is that your husband in there? Throwing up?"

Aww, that's sweet. This lovely man had gone out of his way to see if we were alright.

"He's not my husband but we are related, is he okay?" I deliberately did my sickly sweet voice just to see if it still worked.

It did, he blinked, completely dazed and then remembered.

The man sighed and rubbed his beak. For a moment I forgot who I was and remembered what I was. I smelt his scent so close, the fire in my throat just suggesting I quickly gobble him up-.

"Not really, m'love. He's proper chucking up his guts, there's blood everywhere."

Oh God.

**Two hours later**

Luckily it was only the blood he induced that got up-chucked.

I don't get why I couldn't see him up chucking in any vision, when I checked this morning something told me we were going to get the perfect thing for Esme. Hmm, it was probably a snap decision- but his stomach shouldn't work anymore, neither should his gag reflexes ...Ah well, I don't know and don't care.

I had to persuade a stranger to take him in some new clothes of which I'd raced around the shop to buy and he could only clear himself and presumably any dripping blood up from the sink of the men's. He was so pissed at me when I dumped his bloody clothes-see the pun? - In the bin with the excuse that I wasn't going to be carry a blood bag around with me. He whined that it was second favourite outfit.

The first was apparently his wedding suit: Soppy git!

We spent hours upon hours buying stuff, well I did and I decided at the end of our shopping we would return to Ann Summers so Carlisle could overcome his fear of embarrassment although when we discussed his up chucking he said the thought of that women, being seductive in such a shop as Ann Summers made him feel really sick, hence the up-chucking. Above all, we had really bonded. He talked a lot about his want of a family and also the importance of Esme and his prior vamp life. It was about four-o'clock when we returned.

"Now, Carlisle; you need to overcome this fear of underwear and to do this we are returning to that shop so you can get something for your wife."

He made a strange groaning noise and rubbed his nose. I hadn't told him that I had told Esme to meet him in the forest at nine this evening- I'd already brought her outfit for tonight. To think about it, I hadn't even told him that there was a date.

"By the way, you're meeting Esme at nine this evening in the woods. And you're going to spend the evening together, we've got it all planned-band- blood which looks like some sort of wine-everything! Although the blood doesn't sound like too much of a good idea right now."

"Oh, well then Alice, I'd better get home and get ready...right now in fact!"

His smile was too happy, what was he up to? Oh right, damn!

"No, you just hold on, you're going in that shop and going now! Shoo!"

He groaned but did as he was told. He walked into the shop, holding his breath in an effort to stop becoming embarrassed and walked up the underwear section. He was even discussing with one of the staff what to get Esme. It wasn't Jennie though; she refused to talk to him again. She had heard that he threw up and assumed it was because of her...well actually it was. But still.

That's when the climax of the whole day happened, in walked Mrs Beecham.

Mrs Beecham is our sort of neighbour; she's around forty-five I would say. She lives with her husband; she smells awful, whinges like hell, looks revolting with her miniscule eyes, rat nose and buck teeth, also she fancies Carlisle. I cannot believe she has literally just walked in the shop. I am astonished. Esme hates her, they argue frequently and on one occasion Esme even threw a vase at her head. She was rushed into hospital; Carlisle was amused but stayed out of it.

To this day, Mrs Beecham still doesn't know that it's because of Esme; she has a volcanic scar on her forehead. It's incredibly amusing actually.

"Carl? Oh _my_ darling, what are you doing, in such a shop as this?"

Carlisle HATES being called Carl, you can see him grinding his teeth as she calls him it.

"Mrs Beecham...why, hello..." He smiles awkwardly and flicks the hair out of his eyes. Eurgh! Where are my scissors?

He looks over to me; HELP is etched onto his face.

"Buying something naughty are we?"

You can see horror in his eyes; _WE? LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS EQUATION! _

He swiftly drags himself right way from that area.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. Alice was just helping me buy...some socks?" He gulped and grabbed a pair of fluffy socks off of the shelf next to him.

"Don't think this is your sort of shop, _my love_."

If Esme was here right now she would have eaten this lady, Carlisle even said today that she was real shy in the beginning of their relationship and it took her years to even mention the word love to him. That's why she hates it when other people call either him or one of my siblings my love.

"It's like a possession thing I think, she doesn't like to think people take ownership of the people in her family, that's why she tends to say dear or love instead or _my_ dear or _my_ love." Carlisle had said earlier.

There had been an awkward miniscule silence between my flash back and Carlisle awkward sock hunting.

"No, ha-ha. No, I'm buying...Socks...for Esme?"

"Is she cold?" She said this icily and sharp like a rock's edge. "Hearted!" she muttered after it.

Carlisle dropped all embarrassment. 'YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT,' my expression yells out.

A longer silence before;

"Nope, she just deserves to be treated like a queen because I love her and she's my wife! These please." He smiled sarcastically at Beecham and turned towards the cashier.

BITCH GOT OWNED!

We left that shop with a pair of fluffy socks, I mean; socks? Well it was an achievement in his eyes, I guess.

It was another sigh of relief once we got in the car, this time from both of us.

"Well, today was...eventful."

He smiled and hugged me.

"Thanks Alice, not only have you helped me confront my ridiculous fears but you've reminded me to value what's mine. Thanks, love."

"N'aww, its okay daddy-o. Glad I do people some good."

It was going all perfect as we drove home and then, I don't even know how, but I crashed into some dudes car that had crashed into another car which had crash into a lamppost.

I whacked the steering wheel! "Alice, seriously?"

Isn't talking to yourself the first sign of insanity?

Oh well, shit happens. And hey! I'm officially forgiven now, too!

Although my car is currently intertwined with another car.


	4. Bella

**A/N:**

**I apologize so much for this chapter because its sooooooo rubbish, I've been really off the ball and so haven't really been able to complete it and refine it to at least a respectable standard.**

**I promise the next one will be better!**

**I'm sorry its taken so long as well, I'm back at school so revising a lot! IM SO SORRY! 3**

**Happy reading xx**

**Kimberley/ MilkshakeKimxx  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Esme's point of view<strong>

I _**HATE**_the smell of human food, its revolting, disgusting and I don't even know why I'm cooking such a gross substance, when I was a lot younger I used to eat a lot of chocolate-but that was years ago. Decades even. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm cooking now.

I wretched as I sculptured the squishy ball of meat together with some herbs and spices all the while staying careful to stay out of view of our guests. Well, I only made faces when my back was to the living room in case one of them had wondered off from Carlisle and Bella's tour of the house and decided to talk to me.

Today I had to be extra careful with anything I did (that included breathing). Bella asked us if she could maybe invite her parents round to stay for the weekend - this included Phil as well as Charlie- and Emmett then added to this meeting by shouting down the phone for them to stay for dinner whilst Bella was inviting them up for a few days. So, I have to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner with the inclusion of snacks, for the weekend, and then have to add to all this by eating it as well!

The kitchen was gleaming with an immaculate pride, everything in its place other then the utensils I was using at the moment. We, well, Edward and I cleaned the rest of our home before they arrived and this was so we weren't seen as peasants. Carlisle the gentleman he is, and Bella the sweetheart she is offered to help us but Edward and I refused. We said that they could have their time to talk a bit more.

That's when I received a visitor...finally!

"Hello, mother from another-father?"

I laughed even though the phrase didn't work very well.

"Hello, dear. Hungry?"

Jacob grinned and stretched.

"Thanks, Esme. Sorry couldn't make it here the other day, Seth had a football thing and I said I would go. Though, I did hear that I'm lucky I didn't come...how bad did he lose it?"

He had lowered his voice to a whisper. His jeans were torn, shirt in his hand, no shoes. He stood up from the seat and poured himself a drink. Well, at least there was some use of that fridge other then Emmett's idea of 'The amazing flexible, pixie vampire who can fit into such stuff as microwaves, fridges and on one occasion the cooker'!

I hesitated before answering. "It was pretty bad, but everyone's making it up to him on their own, this weekend is Bella's week, she's invited the parents to stay for the weekend. And, I'm glad you're hungry because you can go into Edwards's old bedroom, or go find Alice, get some trousers and a t-shirt and perhaps socks, then you can stay for dinner."

He grimaced. "Thanks Esme, but..."

"I got balls."

He spluttered, spat his drink out everywhere and coughed repeatedly.

"What?" he whimpered.

I stared at him as innocently and concerned as I could "Balls, Balls! See?"

He snapped his eyes shut just as I held the lump of meat before his eyes. Slowly, he looked, then sighed and laughed.

"Not balls, Esme, MEAT-balls." He laughed in relief. "Anyway, could be like that film if Sqiudward's not careful. You know, Meet the Parents, or Meet the F- well F-O-C-K-E-R-S whatever."

I smirked, glad that at least Jacob still found it rude to swear in front a lady. Oh, Squidward's; Edward. Squid-**ward**, Ed-**ward**. It just shows how pathetic Jacob's jokes are.

I'd made several balls and had placed them into the oven delicately. Just, it was as I was putting the stuff away and nattering to Jacob that I'd forgotten to get milk and remembered there were burnt cookies in the bottom of the oven.

"Shit! Got no milk! Oh double shit, I've burn the damn biscuits, oh for shitting sake I've just sworn in front of you. I'm so sorry Jacob."

He stared wide eyed at me.

"Wow, tough week, huh?" He smiled and pointed upstairs, indicating he was off to get changed. Must have scared the boy off.

Damn, I've got to get milk, but if I leave, the 'meat'-balls will burn, oh crap, what do I do!

"Shit!" aid a sweet little voice.

That's when I look down and find Renesmee giggling happily. Oh for the love of all that's holy. I bent down to her level all the while mentally beating myself up.

"Nessie, that's a bad word. You do not say that word."

So what happens? She starts balling her eyes out and runs off in Carlisle's direction.

"FOR-HMM'S -SAKE!" Deliberately, I pushed my head onto the table as a way of venting out my frustration and what happens next?

_**CRACK**_

"YOU FLIBBERTIGIBBET!"

It's not my day. Anyway, I ignore the cracked working space and decide to knock on our neighbour's door, to see if she has any sugar because I've forgotten that as well.

Just, as I knock on the bright red door, no one answers.

"Mrs, Johnstone? Mrs Johnstone? You home?"

No answer. Just two people squealing in pleasure from the upstairs windows. Great, hurrah, what's the best thing to hear at noon on a Saturday? Apparently the phrase 'the neighbour's are at it' had never been so true.

"Esme? Oh what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be slaving over your handsome hubby?" She glares at me then smiles, sarcastic. It's that bouncing blonde bitch, Beecham!

I grit my teeth and knock on the door again.

"You're going to get no answer; they're too busy making love, which is something you obviously don't do if you're going to continue knocking."

Stupid bitch, curse her and her stupid grammar!

"It's not that _MRS_ Beecham, just Carlisle's a gentle man and doesn't really like the idea of people watching-"

Man, I've just put my foot in my mouth, big time.

"Basically he's embarrassed to have anyone think he's having even casual sex with you." She glared at my forehead...weird woman!

I JUST WANT TO RIP HER FAT TOADISH HEAD OFF, FEED IT TO DOGS, BURN THE DOGS AND THEN JUMP ON THE ASHES! No offense to Jacob because he's apart of the family,

"Well, at least he enjoys it." Oh well done Esme, you stupid twit, you've just agreed that he's embarrassed of you. Grrr.

I was face to face with her now. For too many years I've had to deal with her crap, yet I have the chance of draining her blood dry, staring in my face but obviously I have to ignore it. The temptation is going to become unbearable in a matter of seconds.

NO, that's a horrible thing to say. Mrs Beecham is a lovely- Well Mrs Beecham is-she is-she is... Well, she's a bit of a full on, in your face, snobby bitch. There's the truth. She continued to watch my forehead,, sickened for some reason.

"Well, if he can't even groan out to accentuate his pleasure then I doubt he does enjoy it." She did that shaky head thing that makes her say 'YEAH, I WENT THERE!' It's not a movement I'm very fond of.

I think I would have cried if I could. It's a bit like when you were little and you have a best friend who you adore totally and the bigger bullies try to make them, a bully too.

"Don't you believe it to be even slightly rude that you're talking about someone else's husband and his personal nightlife, while your own husband is sat in your car within millimetres away and is tapping the window impatiently?"

Personal nightlife-just shut up Esme. I smiled awkwardly, hoping I hadn't offended her too much; I carried on walking, just towards the corner shop this time to get some cookies and milk and perhaps sugar.

"He's with another woman, isn't he, I can hear his laugh?"

"Yeah, but it's only Bella's mother, and her step father, and Charlie and herself so it's not too bad. He's got someone to help keep him busy." I continued to walk away oblivious to her retort and my reply.

"Charlie Swan? Oh this is dishy! I thought he was with Sue Clearwater? What's this, a foursome?" Her eyes never once met my eyes, just the bit of my head underneath my hair. Would she stop staring!

OH MY FUMBILING GNOMES! She's manipulated my words. I thought she meant he was with them as in looking after them.

"That's not what I meant- wait. I didn't-!" It was too late she had walked off while I had hit realisation. Stupid, head pervert.

***.*.*.FOUR HOURS LATER.*.*.*.***

**Bella's point of view.**

"Dinner!" Esme called delicately. She'd been slaving over the kitchen all day and it showed, Alice had to cover the top of her forehead with a LOT of foundation because what happened to Carlisle with Emmett, happened to Esme when she sliced the island with her forehead.

I could still see the green of the venom reactant posing as a bruise under her fringe.

It was lovely to have the whole family at the table. Carlisle sat in his usual place, I was on his right, on my left were Charlie, then Alice, Renesmee and Edward. Then on the opposite side, Rosalie, Jasper, Jacob Emmett, Phil, Renee, and finally Esme was sat next to her Carlisle.

It was a bit of a heap but we were all able to talk closely to one another. This was nice.

"Esme, tell me, where have you been all day, I've missed you?" My mother always the charmer.

Phil, Charlie, Jacob and Emmett had somehow got themselves into a baseball conversation so I felt at ease. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Edward and were all playing with Renesmee and Carlisle was looking intently upon Esme's reply.

"Well, um, I've just been cooking really." As she said this she placed two plates in front of my mother and Phil and next headed to gather more plates.

"Don't worry Esme, I'll help." I offered and also began gathering up plates and placing them in front of everyone. Jacob groaned when he got his plate.

"It looks brilliant."

"He's right my darling it looks wonderful." As Carlisle breathed this, and the moment Esme put his plate down, he went to kiss her, but she pulled away as if afraid. He frowned but squeezed her hand to show that he wasn't offended just confused.

This was where the nightmare became real. The table was laid out perfectly fine, Candles even decorated across the room to give it more of a relaxed atmosphere. Though we vampires and Jacob could feel the awkward tension brewing between monster and food.

It smelled gross to me, but I knew I would have to try it.

Stabbing a meatball with my fork, I carefully placed it in my mouth and chewed. Edward was right, it did taste like dirt, this is disgusting. Charlie looked to me.

"Wow, you really look like you're enjoying it, Bells."

"Mm hmm." I swallowed. "It's great, Esme well done."

"You really liked that didn't you Bella?" Renee smiled at me so sweetly I felt weird.

"Yeah mum, they taste great!" Crap, are they over cooked or under-cooked, I can't tell.

"You used to hate meatballs and herbs, before. You used to really dislike any herb." Charlie frowned at me as if deeply confused.

Jacob, Emmett and Edward stifled a laugh and placed food into their mouth. Well, I say placed. Emmett and Jacob shovelled, one in hunger, one in a rush. But ironically, neither expression from the two told you which one was enjoying the taste and which one wanted to get rid of it first.

"Not anymore." I lied.

First challenge complete.

*.*.*

We had finished dinner and were just about to have dessert, which lucky for us was only ice cream.

"No, I think the worst thing Bells has done is probably swallowed about seven worms in a row."

My mother howled with laughter. "Then she moved on to other yummy insects."

The rest of my siblings began joining in with the laughter.

"We were worried that we would have to rename her Timon Meerkat."

At this, Carlisle, Jacob and Esme began laughing too. Could my death get any worse?

"I don't know Charlie; do you remember when she had an accident in our neighbour's paddling pool? I haven't spoken to Barry and Linda since then."

Charlie was crying at this point, and I was even tempted to stab my head in with a fork. To top it all off Renesmee started to laugh as well.

"This is shit!" She smiled as silence took hold of the room. Edward scolded her and once he did she cried and reached out for a hug of Emmett.

"Emmett!" I bellowed.

He held his hands up.

"This time, I swear to God. I did nothing! Absolutely nothing. I didn't teach her it!"

Esme sighed in comfort.

"Shit! SHIT SHITTY SHIT!"

"Renesmee, no. You do not use that language, you hear me?"

She nodded but scowled at the floor.

Seconds later.

"Renesmee, don't you dare!" Edward warned, though he looked cautiously towards Esme who was refusing to meet his glance.

"Bastardo, Bastardo! Bonjour, je suis amusant vous êtes la merde."

"I'm sorry, but please excuse me." Esme too followed

There was a long silence until Emmett decided to persist that it wasn't him who taught her to swear because he can barely swear in English let alone French or Italian.

I didn't believe him.

"Well, thanks Bella, I've had a lovely weekend getting to know your parents properly."

He smiled towards all of us. Awkward.

"Anytime, Carlisle."

Guess I'm forgiven too!

That's when we heard an aggravating scream and rushed to see what happened.

"AHHHH YOU TOTALLY TOADISH BITCH!"

Esme had thrown a cabinet through the window of the living room and aimed it at Mrs Beecham. Charlie stammered and Carlisle gulped.

You have got to be kidding me!


End file.
